You, Sovereign mistress of my heart

《你,我心灵的女主人》

Written by Kierkegaard, posted on June 5, 2022

引自京不特

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你,我心灵的女主人[1],隐藏在我胸中最深的私密之中、隐藏在我最丰实的生命思考之中,一个与天堂和地狱相距同样遥远的地方,——不为人所知的神圣!哦,我真的能够相信诗人们的那些故事吗:当一个人第一次看到所爱的对象时,他相信自己在先前早就见过她;所有爱,正如所有知识,都是回忆;爱在单个的个体身上也有其各种预言、其各种类型、其各种神话、其旧约。在每一张女孩子的脸上,我都能看到你的美丽之痕迹,但我觉得,我不得不拥有所有女孩,以便从她们的全部美丽中就像是提取出你的美丽;我不得不航行整个地球,以便找到我所缺、但我整个自我的最深秘密作为极点暗示的那部分世界;——而下一瞬间,你是如此临近于我,如此存在于当场,如此有力地充实我的精神,以至于我在我自己面前变容,并觉得这里是适合于我在的好地方。你,情欲之爱的盲神!在暗中观察的你,你能为我给出启示吗?我是否能在这里,在这个世界上,找到我所寻求的东西,我是否能了知从所有我生活中的古怪前提中得出的结论,我是否能将你拥入我的双臂,——或者

这命令是在说继续吗?

你已经走在前面了吗,你,我的渴慕,你是否已然变容从另一个世界向我招手?哦,我愿意抛开一切,以便变得足够轻盈来跟随你。

[1] “Regina”[译者说明:“Regina”是克尔凯郭尔在后来加上的,拉丁语“女王;公主;女主人”的意思,也是丹麦名字瑞吉娜(Regine)的拉丁语形式]


You, Sovereign mistress of my heart [Added later: “Regina.”], hidden in the deepest privacy of my breast, in my most brimming thoughts on life, there, where it is just as far to heaven as to hell—unknown divinity! Oh, can I really believe the poets’ tales that when one sees the beloved for the first time one believes one has seen her long before; that all love, like all knowledge, is recollection; that love too has its prophecies, its types, its myths, its Old Testament in the single individual. Everywhere, in every girl’s face, I see a trace of your beauty, but it seems to me that I would have to have all girls in order to extract your beauty from all of theirs; that I’d have to circumnavigate the earth to find that continent which I lack, and that the deepest secrecy of my entire ‘I’ nevertheless points to it as its pole;—and in the next moment you are so near to me, so present, so powerfully making my spirit whole, that I am transfigured in my own eyes and feel that here is a good place to be.… You blind god of love! You who see in secret, will you tell me openly? Shall I find what I am seeking here in this world, shall I experience the conclusion of all my life’s eccentric premises, shall I enclose you in my arms—or

Does the order say: onward?

Have you gone ahead, you my longing; do you summon me, transfigured, from another world? Oh, I would cast everything aside to become light enough to follow you.

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